At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
