did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
