I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
