i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
