did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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