How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
