And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize