But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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