her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
