I'll bet she douches with gravy.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
