$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
