have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
