I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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