Buhtt sex?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
