I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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