If that was your dad, he is hot
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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