So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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