Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
