I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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