but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
