Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
