Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize