No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You smell like stripper and shame
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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