we're blogging at a bar
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
