My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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