Non-Jews are for practice
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
