yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
