Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
