how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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