Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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