I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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