We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
