I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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