I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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