It was confusing and full of hummus
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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