thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
