I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
