i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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