If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
