They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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