Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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