I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
