Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
