I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
