apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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