I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
