guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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