Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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