this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
