Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize