You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
