but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
