I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize