Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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