break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
