I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
