Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize