I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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