remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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