you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
