I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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