Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
