Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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