this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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